Drabble 16 | Cooking Class

[sanalayla]

“Okay, now I want you to sauté the onions lightly,” the instructor announced from the front of the room. “Remember, just a dab of olive oil and half the onions from what we chopped up before.”

Lois grimaced, looking down at the pile of onions on her chopping board. They were cut into haphazard shapes… a few large chunks were still left that she hadn’t gotten around to actually cutting up. She shrugged and grabbed a few handfuls of them, anyway, and tossed them into the frying pan.

“Lois!” Clark rolled his eyes and moved around her. He took the frying pan off the burner, setting it aside. “You forgot to put the oil.” He inspected the onions and added, “This isn’t even half the onions – it’s most of them and you forgot to chop them.”

Lois glared at him and let out a sigh of frustration. “My eyes started burning. How could I be expected to chop up three onions into those tiny little pieces? My retinas can’t handle that.”

Clark gave her a look and dumped the onions back onto the board. Grabbing a knife, he skillfully chopped them up in two seconds flat.

“I’m going to kill Brady,” Lois muttered under her breath.

She watched as Clark took the bottle of olive oil and poured a small amount into the empty frying pan he’d just cleared out. He put the frying pan back on the burner and turned to face her.

“C’mon, aren’t you having fun?” Clark asked, a teasing grin lighting up his eyes. “It’s win-win. We learn something new and we get to hang out together – while we’re officially on the clock.”

Balefully, Lois took the cilantro and began hacking it into pieces. “We’re learning something new? Not really. We’re learning that I can’t cook to save my life and that I’m going to kill Brady. Two things I already knew. Couples cooking class – worse assignment ever.” She ended the sentence with a vicious jab of her knife, rendering the herb into more of a pulp than the instructor probably wanted.

Sensing the violence in her, he gingerly took the knife from her hand. “Um… why don’t you stir the onions while I finish the chopping?” Clark suggested, grasping her waist and switching places with her smoothly.

Lois gave him a look that clearly conveyed that she knew what he was doing, but she picked up the wooden spatula without any comments. They spent a few minutes in comfortable silence while Clark finished cutting up the rest of the ingredients. Suddenly, he smelled something smoky. He glanced towards Lois and his eyes widened in alarm. Her pan was smoking and on fire. Glancing around and realizing that no one had noticed, yet, he used his super-breath to put it out. Even though the fire died instantly, the blackened pan was worse for wear.

“Oh no,” Lois cried out in dismay. She looked towards Clark. “I have no idea how that happened. One second they looked great and the next….” Her voice trailed off as she indicated towards the still smoking pan to prove her point.

Clark leaned over and checked the burner, seeing that it was set to high. He turned it off and straightened. “Lois, she said that you were supposed to keep it on low. Why’d you turn it up?”

“It was taking too long,” she grumbled. Her eyes widened slightly in panic and she grabbed his arm. “Oh no, the teacher’s coming this way. Change places with me.”

“What? Why?” Clark resisted a bit, but finally complied since she kept tugging on his arm and trying to work her way around him. By the time the teacher found her way to their counter, Lois was holding onto the knife and had stationed Clark right in front of the charred remains of the frying pan.

The instructor - a petite, young, blonde woman with blue eyes - stopped right in front of Clark. Her brows rose in surprise as she took in the sight before her. She glanced up at Clark. “I see you had a bit of a mishap here,” she said, her voice polite and friendly. “I’m Nicole. You are?”

“I’m Clark,” he replied, smiling in response. He indicated towards his partner. “This is Lois.”

“Well, Clark, it looks like we’re going to have to get you a new frying pan.” Nicole laughed a little. “Don’t worry, this isn’t the first time the guy has done that here.” She gave Lois a wry grin. “It’s hard for them, you know, to be patient. Is this the first time you two are taking the couples class? Are you signing up for the whole series?”

“No, no, not at all,” Lois replied hastily. “We’re not actually here for the couples class. We’re reporters from the Daily Planet. We’re working on a story and doing this class was an assignment our editor gave us.”

“Oh! I see!” Nicole looked startled, but then glanced at Clark and smiled.

Lois smiled in response, too. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions after the class?”

“Of course not,” Nicole answered. Then she focused on Clark. “Is this the first time you’re taking a cooking class, then? You know, I can give you some pointers. I don’t just teach a couples class, I give private lessons, as well.”

Lois gave her an odd look and glanced at Clark. Then back at the pretty blonde.

Clark smiled down at Nicole. “Wow, that’s really sweet. I’d like that.”

Lois stepped on Clark’s foot in response.

“Ow.” Clark winced and moved his leg away from her, giving Lois a confused look. “I mean,” he glanced back at Nicole, “I think that it would be great to learn how to fry an onion. Or other things.”

Nicole grinned up at him, completely ignoring Lois at this point. “So… how about my place? Friday night?” She took the pen from her clipboard and grabbed Clark’s hand. With a flourish, she wrote her name and number on it. “Call me,” she said and walked away slowly, her hips swaying slightly.

Clark stared after her, bemused, and looked down at his hand. “Why’d she write it on my hand? I hope this comes off,” he murmured, as he started to wash his hands at their sink.

“Smallville!” Lois put her hands on her hips and surveyed him. “What is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?” Clark grabbed a towel and began drying his hands on them, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you so mad?”

“She hit on you! And you let her!” Lois whispered as loud as she could without the people around them hearing.

Clark laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a couples cooking class and she’s the teacher,” he pointed out patiently. “Why would she hit on a student who’s here with his girlfriend?”

“Because she thought we weren’t dating!” Lois hissed under her breath. “She must have gotten confused when I told her we were here on assignment.”

Clark stared down at her thoughtfully. After a few seconds of silence, it finally dawned on him what had just happened and his cheeks flushed. “Oh. I guess I should have said something.” He looked down on his hand, where the faint outline of the phone number and name were still there. “Well, its fine, Lois. No need to embarrass her.”

Lois resisted an urge to stamp her foot. “It is not fine. No one asks my boyfriend out right in front of me and gets away with it.” With that, she turned to make her way to the front of the room.

Clark grabbed her arm and stopped her. He shook his head. “Nooo… not a good idea.”

“Let me go, Smallville,” Lois spoke in a calm tone. “I’m not going to hurt her. I have to ask her questions for the article, don’t I?”

“Is that all you’re going to do?”

“Of course.”

He gazed at her suspiciously for a moment, but finally let her go. “OK, fine. But don’t say anything to her – she’ll get embarrassed.”

“I will be the soul of discretion,” Lois promised. She walked towards Nicole, who was standing at the front of the room filling out some paperwork.

Nicole glanced up with a bit of a smile. “Lois, isn’t it? I can’t really answer your questions now. We’re about to move on to the next step. Can you wait until after the class is over?”

“No,” Lois answered firmly. “This isn’t about the questions. I just wanted to let you know that Clark is off the menu.”

“Excuse me?” Nicole’s brows rose in surprise. “I don’t understand.”

Lois rolled her eyes. “OK, let me spell it out. He’s taken. Meaning, he’s mine. Or, another way to put it, you can take your private lessons and shove them in a private --.” A hand clamped over her mouth and cut off the rest of her sentence.

Nicole stood, shell-shocked, her mouth open in horror.

Clark smiled at her apologetically. “I am so sorry… Lois has a tendency to speak before she thinks… or you know do anything before she thinks, really. We’re working on it.” He held onto Lois, ignoring her struggles and attempts to get his hand off of her mouth.

Nicole looked at Lois, who was glaring up at Clark and then back at Clark, who was smiling at her calmly. She swallowed nervously. “Um… no… that’s OK. I just… I misunderstood, that’s all. I didn’t realize you were….”

“It’s OK,” Clark assured her. “I mean, I’m flattered. It’s really sweet of you… if I wasn’t seeing someone….”

At that, Lois stamped on his foot again. Since Clark didn’t cushion the blow, her heel actually broke this time. Which then made her let out a silent shriek of rage that was muffled by his hand. He tightened his hold on her and started to edge towards the exit.

“Um, it was a great class. We’re definitely going to write a nice article about it,” Clark called over his shoulder.

The teacher nodded faintly in response.

Once they were safely in the parking lot, Clark let go of Lois and removed his hand from her mouth.

Immediately, she let out a indignant cry and punched him in the arm. “I cannot believe you did that!”

“And I can’t believe you went up there and talked to her even when you promised me you wouldn’t!” Clark shot back. “I think you scared her, Lois.”

“Not my fault she’s a wuss.” Lois crossed her arms. “A stupid, little, blonde, wuss.”

Clark looked at her intently for a minute and then a grin slowly spread across his face. “Wait… you’re jealous.”

“I am not,” Lois snapped back.

“Yes, you are.” His grin deepened. “You’re mad that she asked me out.”

“So, I’m a little irritated,” Lois corrected. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I was just setting the record straight.”

Clark stepped closer to her. “And why would you need to set the record straight?”

“Because…” Lois scowled up at him. “Because I like records to be straight.” With that, she turned and, with one broken shoe, began to hobble back through the parking lot. “I’m going to kill Brady,” he heard her mutter under her breath.

Clark smirked a bit and followed her to the car. Looked like he was going to owe Brady a decent Christmas present, after all.