Drabble 31 | Guys' Day In

[sanalayla]

“Since Clark would never think of this, I’ll be the one to actually bring out the beer,” Oliver announced. He came into the living room holding up two six packs.

Clark glanced up at Oliver. “Why do we need beer? Can’t we just watch the game without it?”

Victor grabbed a bottle from Oliver and shot Clark a look of disbelief. “No. Watching football without beer? It’s downright un-American, man.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never understood the appeal, either,” Bart said. But he took a bottle from Oliver, anyway. “What’s the point?”

“You guys only think that because you can’t get drunk,” A.C. pointed out. “If you could, you would understand the appeal.”

“I’m actually rather shocked you even had a full stash in your fridge, Clark.” Oliver took a sip of his beer and looked down at him. “I mean, your fridge actually looked like a man’s fridge for a second.”

Clark smiled. “Actually, that’s Lois’s beer. And if you’re going to polish it off, you’ll have to replace it. I’m not going to protect you from her when she finds out.”

“I’m not afraid of Lois Lane.” Oliver scoffed. After a beat, he added, “Well, maybe a little. Tell her I’ll mail her some to replace her stash.” He held up the bottle and sighed. “It’s good beer. Lois… such good taste. Remind me again why she’s with you?”

Clark grinned, but didn’t say anything. He grabbed the remote and put the game on. “Aren’t we here to watch football?”

“Yeah, why are we here to watch football?” Victor asked curiously. “I mean, I love you guys, but you have to admit that most of our time together is of the ‘let’s save the world variety’… I thought we didn’t do this hanging out thing.”

“Zee took Chloe and the girls out for a spa day today,” Oliver responded, by way of explanation.

“What does that mean?” Bart asked, puzzled.

Victor laughed. “It means one of two things. Either these two have no clue how to spend a Sunday without their girlfriends around or Dinah and Lois set this day up for them – like a play date.”

Oliver flushed. “They did not set it up.” He glanced at Clark for back-up. “They may have mentioned it as a suggestion….”

Clark propped his feet on his coffee table and leaned back. “They totally set it up. In fact, I think heard ‘football with the guys’ about fifty times this week alone. I’m surprised she hasn’t made me send her a picture to prove you all are actually in my living room.”

“Why would they care?” Bart took a gulp of his beer and made a face. He put it down and grabbed another soda. “I mean, if they’re not around, what do they care what you do with your free time?”

A.C. burst out laughing. “Man, you don’t know women, do you? They’re probably feeling guilty. So, best way to stop feeling guilty about spending the whole day at some luxurious spa? Convince themselves that their boyfriends are having more fun without them than WITH them. Classic.”

“Since when did you become such an expert on women?” Victor asked curiously.

“Since….” A.C. paused, “I’ve always been an expert on women.” Then he turned to Oliver. “Wait, let me get this straight. Lois and Dinah are spending the day together?”

“Yeah.”

“Isn’t that a little weird for you, bro?” A.C. asked. His grin widened. “You’re not worried they’ll exchange notes?”

Oliver choked on his beer. “What? No… why would they do that?”

“Because that’s what girls do,” Victor answered. His grin was even wider than A.C.’s. “Huh… this will either go really well or you’re in for a rough night.”

“Wait a minute, why would they talk about that?” Clark interjected. “I mean, Oliver went out with Lois and we never talk about it.”

“That’s because one of you has laser vision,” Bart pointed out. “No one’s going to talk to you about your girlfriend.”

“I went out with her too,” A.C. said inexplicably. He put his empty bottle down and reached for another. “She was so… well… she actually wasn’t very nice. But so…”

Victor punched A.C. in the arm. “Seriously? You’re gonna want to stop talking now.”

“You went out with her for one week,” Clark reminded him. “That doesn’t count.”

“I gotta agree with Scout on this one,” Oliver rejoined. “Doesn’t count.”

“Why’d you only go out with her for a week?” Victor asked A.C. curiously.

“He left to go save the oceans from… well… everything, really,” Oliver answered for him.

“OK, can we watch the game?” Clark said, plaintively. “Do we really need to spend the whole time talking about Lois?”

“No, we can talk about something else,” Bart responded. “Like… Gillian.” He turned to Victor with a grin. “How’s it going with her? You haven’t mentioned her in the last five minutes or so. It’s so unlike you.”

Victor shot him an annoyed look. “I am not talking to you about Gillian – not after what you pulled on our last patrol.”

“What did he pull? And what’s going on with Gillian?” A.C. asked.

“They broke up – again,” Bart informed them. “I may have – accidentally – asked Gillian out.”

“How do you accidentally ask someone out?” Oliver’s brow rose in question.

“I was calling to try to patch things up between them and she may have gotten the wrong idea,” Bart explained.

Oliver laughed. “Only you, squirt. Only you.”

“You broke up with Gillian?” Clark asked Victor sympathetically. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Victor let out a deep sigh. “No, man, she’s broke up with me. Same old drill – she doesn’t like this life, she’s scared all the time. She wants me to quit and just be with her.”

“Well, maybe she’ll come around,” Clark responded. “I mean, she’s right. It’s not easy. But that doesn’t mean you guys can’t make it work.”

“Or maybe he needs to just forget about her, Clark,” Oliver pointed out. “Sometimes, you just have to let the door close, so a window of opportunity can open. You never know who’ll be on the other side.” He turned to Victor and elaborated. “Like Lois. I could have just kept going back to her, but when she ended it, I accepted it and moved on. And then Dinah came along. So, there you go. Maybe Gillian is your Lois.”

Victor blinked at him in confusion and glanced at Clark. “Um… so Lois is your Lois in this story? Not Clark’s Lois? Because that doesn’t work in that context.”

Clark looked annoyed. “Lois is not Oliver’s in any story. All he’s saying is that you should end things with Gillian for good, instead of waiting for things to calm down.” He paused for a second and then added, “There may be something to that. I mean, I did what you’re doing with Lana for years. And we just made each other miserable all the time. It was only when I fully let go of her that I opened myself up to Lois. And, now, I can’t even remember why I wanted to be with Lana in the first place. Once you’re in a relationship with someone where it works, it really hits home what didn’t work in the other relationship.” Clark smiled warmly at Victor. “Maybe you just need to find someone where things are easier and then you’ll see why things went wrong with Gillian.”

“So, really, what they’re saying is that Gillian is Clark’s Lana and Oliver’s Lois,” Bart broke in. “You guys and your girl problems. Much better to do it my way.”

“Go to Italy to hook up with random women and never call them again?” A.C. asked. “How is that better? You’ve never even had one meaningful relationship.”

“I’m too fast to stick around for a meaningful relationship.”

Oliver snorted. “Yeah, that’s what every woman wants to hear. That you’re too fast.”

There was silence for a split second after Oliver’s comment and then even Clark burst out laughing.

“That was a good one,” Clark admitted. “Low blow, though.” He grabbed the remote and turned the volume up. “But, look, the game’s almost over. Can we focus? Lois is going to quiz me on every move the Mavericks made and I can’t tell her I wasn’t paying attention because we were busy talking about women.” He shook his head. “I would never live it down.”

“Good point,” Oliver agreed. “The game it is….”


Later that night….

Lane to Smallville @ 9:23pm: So, who won? Who won?

Smallville to Lane @ 9:24pm: You have the internet on your phone. Why are you asking me?

Lane to Smallville @ 9:25pm: More fun.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:26pm: You just want to make sure I watched the game.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:27pm: No. Who won?

Smallville to Lane @ 9:28pm: Mavericks lost. 22-8.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:29pm: Smallville, what have I told you about this? CUSHION THE BLOW.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:30pm: Sorry. How was your spa day?

Lane to Smallville @ 9:31am: Fun. Relaxing. Spa-ey.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:32am: Spa-ey? I don’t think that’s a word.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:33pm: If it’s not, it should be.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:34pm: So are you coming over tonight?

Lane to Smallville @ 9:36pm: No, I’m beat. I was thinking of hanging out at home with Chlo. Maybe we’ll watch a movie. Spending a whole day relaxing is pretty damn exhausting.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:37pm: OK.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:38pm: You want to join us? We should be there in twenty minutes.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:39pm: Sure.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:40pm: Then you can check out my pedicure. I got red nail polish.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:41pm: OK.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:42pm: Because it’s your favorite color.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:43pm: Seriously? You’re kidding, right? What did you drink at that spa?

Lane to Smallville @ 9:44pm: Zee made me.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:45pm: That makes more sense.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:46pm: I told her you wouldn’t appreciate the gesture.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:48pm: I appreciate the gesture. It’s just such an anti-Lois thing to do. I thought you liked clear nail polish because you couldn’t be bothered to deal with it all the time?

Lane to Smallville @ 9:49pm: Yes. I regret going with the red already.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:50pm: Well, then it was doubly nice of you to pick my favorite color. Thank you.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:51pm: I’m sure you can make it up to me – somehow.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:52pm: Is Chloe going to be there all night?

Lane to Smallville @ 9:53pm: ‘Fraid so.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:54pm: Then maybe we should watch the movie at my place. Chloe can take off after the movie.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:55pm: As much as I would love to, it is Chloe’s birthday.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:56pm: Not as of midnight.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:57pm: Good point. OK, fine, I’ll tell Chloe we’re stopping at your place. We’ll be there in ten minutes.

Smallville to Lane @ 9:58pm: Can’t wait.

Lane to Smallville @ 9:59pm: You say that now. The movie we’re watching is “Ella Enchanted”.

Smallville to Lane @ 10:03pm: Oh, by the way, the guys finished all your beer.

Lane to Smallville @ 10:04pm: That’s fine. I stocked it there for them. I knew you’d forget.

Smallville to Lane @ 10:05pm: You made sure my fridge was stocked because I wouldn’t think of it? That’s so considerate, Lane.

Lane to Smallville @ 10:06pm: Yeah, what would you do without me?

Smallville to Lane @ 10:07pm: Be miserable? Lonely?

Lane to Smallville @ 10:08pm: And mopey. Moping and hanging out in your loft.

Smallville to Lane @ 10:09pm: I guess so. I’d have less stress in my life, though. A little peace and quiet… maybe some sanity.

Lane to Smallville @ 10:10pm: Sanity is over rated. Gotta go… we’re at your place.

Smallville to Lane @ 10:11pm: That’s why Chloe’s car is in my driveway. I didn’t put that together. Again, what would I do without you?

Lane to Smallville @ 10:12pm: You wouldn’t have a sense of humor, either. Although, that one’s still a work in progress.