sanalayla | Drabble 55 | The Invitation

From: marthakent@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:21am
Subject: Easter Weekend?

Dear Clark and Lois,

I’ve decided to visit Smallville for Easter weekend. I thought it would be nice for us to have Easter dinner together. Will you both be in town?

Love,
Mom (and Mrs. K.)

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: Martha.kent@gmail.com ; l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:26am
Subject: Re: Easter Dinner?

Hi Mom,

That sounds great! Of course we’ll be in town. Can’t wait.

Love,
Clark

PS: You’re going to make your apple pie, right?

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: Martha.kent@gmail.com ; c.kent@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:29am
Subject: Re: Re: Easter Weekend?

Hi Mrs. K,
Sure, that sounds like a good plan. I’ll bring the wine.

Love,
Lois

*********

From: marthakent@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:33am
Subject: Lovely!

Lois – I also thought it would be lovely to have your family join us. General Lane and Lucy are near Metropolis, right? I think Lucy is in Chicago? Send me their contact information and I’ll be happy to extend an invitation.

Love,
Mrs. K.

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: Martha.kent@gmail.com ; l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:35am
Subject: Re: Lovely!

Mom – That’s a great idea! Lucy’s e-mail address is: l.lane@gmail.com (not to be confused with Lois’s e-mail that is the same thing, but with thedp.com). The General’s personal e-mail is: general_daddy@gmail.com. (In case you couldn’t tell, Lois and Lucy set up this account for him because he refuses to use his military account for personal correspondence. I think he only uses it for Lois and Lucy.)

Love,
Clark

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:38am
Subject: Have you lost your mind???

Ah… Smallville?? Why on earth would you think that I’d want to have Easter dinner with my dad, sister and your mom? It’s like the beginning of a bad joke…. The General, the Senator, and the ex-convict walk into a bar….

WHAT were you thinking? And what’s an Easter dinner, anyway? Do people actually do that? How is it different from a normal dinner?

LL

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:41am
Subject: Re: Have you lost your mind???

Lois,

You’re overreacting. It’ll be fun. And your sister is not an ex-convict. Didn’t all the charges get dropped? Anyway… my mother is not just always a senator. She’s also just my mom. And your dad is… OK, maybe he’s always a General. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea for us all to get together for a dinner. They are your family.

And, yes, we always have Easter dinner. You guys didn’t? What did you usually do on Easter?

Love,
Clark

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: Martha.kent@gmail.com ; c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 11:41am
Subject: No need….

Mrs. K,

Thank you so much for the lovely thought, but – truly – there is no need to invite my father and sister. I’m sure they won’t be able to fly in for a dinner anyway (dad’s busy doing General like stuff and Lucy has a very full social schedule).

I really appreciate the generous offer, but you can ignore Clark’s e-mail with the contact information. Really, offer duly noted, but not necessary.

Take care,
Lois

*********

From: Martha.kent@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com; c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:18pm
Subject: Re: No need….

Dear Lois,

Oh, aren’t you so sweet. It’s no bother, really. Anyway, I had already sent the invitation to General Lane before I got your e-mail. And he already accepted.

Love,
Mrs. K.

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:20pm
Subject: I’m going to kill you.

Clark – She already invited him. And HE ACCEPTED. Next time you decide to coordinate a full on family reunion, can you CHECK with me FIRST?

Lois

PS: To answer your question, we did nothing on Easter, because the General thought a holiday that revolved around colored eggs and bunnies was stupid.

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: Martha.kent@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:21pm
Subject: Re: Re: No need….

Dear Mrs. K,

That’s great that it worked out. Can’t wait!

Love,
Lois

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:23pm
Subject: Re: I’m going to kill you!

There is so much more to Easter than colored eggs and bunnies. And THIS is why I didn’t check with you before giving my mom your family’s contact info. Because you need to expand your horizons.

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:25pm
Subject: Re: Re: I’m going to kill you!

Expand my horizons? You think that’s what this is about? You’ll be singing a different tune after you spend a whole evening with my father. And my sister. And your mother. ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

LL

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:27pm
Subject: Re: Re: Re: I’m going to kill you!

Yes, I understand that the General is not the easiest person in the world to talk to. But I’m sure I’ll survive. I’m sure you’ll survive. Calm down.

*********

From: general_daddy@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:28pm
Subject: Kent Easter Dinner

Lois: Have accepted invitation to Kent farm for Easter dinner. Will see you there.

Lucy: Have accepted on your behalf. Would be good form for you to accept invitation directly, as well.

Sam Lane

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: general_daddy@gmail.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:35pm
Subject: Re: Kent Easter Dinner

Daddy: It’s sweet of you to accept. But no need. Seriously. You can say no. Isn’t there some war somewhere you need to fight?

Lucy: No pressure. Say no if you want. (And did you have to pick an e-mail address so similar to mine? It’s confusing as all hell.)

Lois

*********

From: general_daddy@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:40pm
Subject: Re: Re: Kent Easter Dinner

Lois:

(a) War is not a joking matter.
(b) Your sister does not have an option to say ‘no’.
(c) About time I got to know Kent better. You almost married him two weeks ago. And I’ve only met him once.

Bottom Line: All Lanes will be present and accounted for at this dinner.

Sam Lane

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:42pm
Subject: Kill me now.

Have I mentioned that I hate lists?

LL

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:44pm
Subject: Re: Kill me now.

I thought you loved lists. And rules. And lists of rules.

CK

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:46pm
Subject: Re: Re: Kill me now.

Clearly, it is a genetic defect. Hereditary. The next time I do it, just shoot me.

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: general_daddy@gmail.com ; l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:46pm
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Kent Family Dinner

Lois: I’ve had this address for years. Just because you’re older does not mean you get dibs on the initials!

Daddy: I can’t go. As much as hate passing up an opportunity to torture Lois, I have my own boyfriend’s family dinner to attend.

LL

*********

From: c.kent@thedp.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:48pm
Subject: Confused…

Why are you suddenly averse to lists?

*********

From: general_daddy@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:48pm
Subject: You will be there.

Lucy: The United States of America is a democracy. The Lane household is not a democracy. Your sister is serious about this young man and I expect you to be there at eighteen hundred sharp.

Sam Lane

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:51pm
Subject: What the HELL is going on?

UGH… Why does he DO that??? “The Lane household is not a democracy.” I hated hearing that when I was FIVE and I sure as hell don’t want to hear it now. When is he going to realize we’re not children? OK, what is going on, Lo? Do you really want me to be at this thing? Because… honestly? I would think that this would freak you out. I mean, after the whole ‘wedding that never was’ incident.

Love,
Luce

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:52pm
Subject: Re: Confused….

If you knew my father, you wouldn’t be confused. Instead, you’d be scared. And you’d be averse to lists.

Now, excuse me while I go calm my sister down.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:58pm
Subject: Re: What the HELL is going on?

First of all, we agreed never to talk about the whole wedding thing EVER again.

Secondly, I hate the Generalisms, too, but what can you do? It is what it is.

I know you don’t want to come (and nor do I want you to, trust me). I’ll talk to the General.

*********

From: general_daddy@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 1:39pm
Subject: A compromise.

Lucy: Your sister called me to explain that you may be serious about this young man you are seeing. I called Mrs. Kent and she has graciously extended the offer to him, as well. This way I can meet this young man and re-acquaint myself with Kent at the same time. Always do like to kill two birds with one stone.

Lois: I chose not to argue with you over the phone. But I do think it is odd that you almost married this man and, yet, you do not think I need to meet him.

Sam Lane

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 1:42pm
Subject: What did you DO?

Lois!!

I’m not even that serious about Gary. I made up the thing about going to his family’s house for dinner.

L

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 1:49pm
Subject: Re: What did you DO?

I’m sorry! You know how he is – I started the conversation in one direction and it ended up somewhere else. I didn’t tell him you were serious about Gary (didn’t even know that was the guy’s name).

Just come solo and tell him Gary was held up at work. Daddy will understand. If Gary puts work ahead of you? Daddy will award the guy a medal without even meeting him.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 1:55pm
Subject: It’s OK.

Yeah, I guess you’re right. And I do suppose it’ll be pretty funny watching Clark get grilled by the General. After all, the General’s still recovering from the heart attack you gave him when you told him you were getting married.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 1:59pm
Subject: Re: It’s OK

Fairy chocolates. Why won’t you guys just LET IT GO??

LL

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:07pm
Subject: Re: Re: It’s OK

Well, I did let it go. I think the reason Daddy’s not letting it go is because (a) he doesn’t believe in fairy chocolates and (b) he thinks you’re going too fast with Clark.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:08pm
Subject: ACK.

Don’t do that!!

(And I’ve known Clark for over five years. How is that going too FAST?)

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:10pm
Subject: Re: ACK.

Do what?

(And, yeah, I know. But you’ve only been dating a few months – and you almost got married.)

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:12pm
Subject: Re: Re: ACK.

The list thing! The (a), (b), (c) thing… what IS it with us and lists?

(And, again, there was NO wedding… actually, you know what? Never mind.)

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:18pm
Subject: Re: Re: Re: ACK.

I didn’t even realize I did it. Sorry.

Anyway… the point still stands. I think that you calling Daddy up and telling him you were getting married (right out of the blue) kind of shook him up. So, he probably thinks he needs to do his fatherly duty and makes sure Clark is on the up and up. Decent guy and all that. Whether it was a real wedding or not.

Of course, why that sort of inspection visit would require my attendance is beyond me…. But I’ll chalk that one up to good old fashioned General torture.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:25pm
Subject: Thanks.

General torture is right. Anyway… thanks for coming. It’ll be good to have you there. But just – be easy on Clark, OK? It’s bad enough that he has to face the General. Don’t go all Lucy on him.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:28pm
Subject: Re: Thanks.

I’ll try to be on my best behavior, promise.

LL

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: general_daddy@gmail.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 2:30pm
Subject: Re: A compromise.

Daddy:

OK. I’ll see you there. Lucy will be there, too. And, just for the record, I have no problem with you meeting Clark. But PLEASE don’t bring up the “wedding”. Like I told you – I ate something weird and it made me go temporarily insane. Clark and I don’t talk about it. EVER. So, PLEASE don’t bring it up.

Lois

*********

From: general_daddy@gmail.com
To: l.lane@thedp.com ; l.lane@gmail.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:40pm
Subject: Re: Re: A compromise.

Lucy: Good. I’m looking forward to meeting this Harry person.

Lois: I see no reason to edit myself around Kent. If he’s a man, I’m sure he can handle anything I throw at him. And if he can’t, then he’s not a man, is he? And why would a Lane want to be with him if he isn’t?

Sam Lane

*********

From: l.lane@thedp.com
To: c.kent@thedp.com
Sent: March 5, 2010 at 12:45pm
Subject: Clark…

…. if you somehow survive Easter dinner, I’m going to kill you at the end of it, anyway.

Love,
Lois