Drabble 81 | Me Without You
Jan. 25th, 2011 09:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanalaylaA/N: I did a marathon of the "JLU" animated series over winter break. When I watched "War World" again, I began to wonder what would happen if SVLois were put into that sort of a situation. Where she had to wait for Clark to come back. That led to me starting this drabble (I started it December 28th). This ended up being a weird hybrid of the SV-verse and the JLU-verse. The title of the drabble is the same title that was used as the "Medium" finale's title. Although I hated the finale, I felt the title was poetic and actually matches the theme of this fic exactly. And so I shamelessly stole it.
It starts out much like any other day. Other than the fact that I oversleep and rush to work, breaking every speed limit on the way. Sometimes, I forget that Clark isn’t around, so I’ll need to rely on the old-fashioned methods of getting to work. And so I succumb to laziness and hit the snooze button one too many times.
In any case, I manage to make it into the DP on time; just barely sliding into the last vacant seat at the staff meeting two seconds before Perry enters. The meeting is the typical mishmash of random comments and directives from our editor-in-chief. My mind wanders, from time to time, as I doodle on the blank page in my notebook. Not that I’d admit it to anyone, but Clark’s latest absence is starting to weigh on me. He’s been gone two weeks and our contact is sporadic at best.
When the meeting ends, I make my way up to the office I share with Clark and settle in, turning my attention to the latest article I’m working on. So intent on my task, I don’t notice anything remiss until someone clears his throat to get my attention.
Startled, I glance up. The last two people I expect to see are closing the door behind them and staring at me with somber expressions.
“Diana. Bruce.” I don’t bother to hide my shock and I quickly get up, nervously smoothing down imaginary wrinkles on my skirt with damp hands. “What… what’s going on?”
My two friends share a fleeting glance and then turn their attention towards me. The look, though slight, seems to speak a thousand words, as though they are deciding – in that moment – who will take the lead.
As usual, it’s Bruce who speaks first. “Lois. We came to tell you that Kent is missing.”
My eyes close as I try to comprehend what Bruce is saying. He continues speaking, but I don’t hear anything over the roar of blood rushing through my ears. Feeling light-headed, I reach out blindly for my chair, grasping it tightly for support.
“Lois.” For the first time, Diana speaks. When I look towards her, I focus on her and see concern in her deep blue eyes. “Are you all right?”
Letting out a slight laugh, I shake my head and lie, “Yes. Tell me… what happened? When?”
Bruce and Diana exchange another look and I get the sense that Bruce has already covered what I’m asking. But Bruce doesn’t point that out. Instead, he just says, “Kent, Jonzz, Stewart, and Shayera were all on a routine mission. Kent and Jonzz disappeared. Stewart and Shayera have gone after them to find them.”
A million questions race through my mind. “How long has he been missing? What was the mission? Why are Jon and Shayera the only ones going after them? And where were they when they disappeared? And do you know WHY they disappeared?” Taking in a deep breath, I walk around my desk and say in a brisk voice, “Why are you two not looking? Aren’t you supposed to be the best in the JL? What are you doing HERE?”
Looking a little disconcerted by my questions, Diana just blinks at me for a second.
Bruce decides to answer. “He’s been missing one week. I can’t tell you what the mission was. The reason Jon and Shayera have gone after them is because they were the closest. We don’t know why, yet, but we’re working on it. And the reason we’re not looking is because John and Shayera are capable of bringing them back. It makes more sense for us to stay on Watchtower duty and make sure Earth isn’t left unprotected.”
“And the reason we’re here at the DP is because we promised Kal that if anything like this ever happened that we’d tell you personally,” Diana adds, in a gentle voice. “He didn’t… doesn’t want you to hear it from the newswire.”
I stare at her in confusion. “You’re going to announce this? That Martian Manhunter and Superman are missing?”
“At some point, we may not have a choice.” Bruce looks resigned. “We work with too many diplomats and politicians. We can only explain Superman being MIA for so long.”
Then everything clicks into place. In a low voice, I say, “So what you’re saying is that you don’t expect him to be coming back anytime soon.”
“I’m saying that I don’t know what to expect,” Bruce responds, almost immediately.
“But you’re expecting the worst,” I retort, starting to get annoyed. “Why else would you consider telling everyone?”
“Enough.” Diana looks at both of us with a steely gaze. “We’re talking in circles. Lois, you need to come with us. To Watchtower.”
“Excuse me?” Before she can say anything, I’m shaking my head. “I can’t. I have work to do here…. I need to talk to Clark’s mom.” My voice trails off as I imagine what that conversation is going to be like. “I can wait here. Get updates here.” The idea of leaving my life at the DP behind fills me with panic.
“You have no choice. Kal’s instructions were clear.” Diana looks immovable. “If anything happens to him like this, we’re to bring you to Watchtower for your safety. Just in case.”
“Just in case what?” I ask, with genuine confusion.
“Lois, we have no clue where he is. Or who’s holding him. If they manage to access certain information about Kent’s personal life….” Bruce stops and seems to choose his words carefully. “Many people hate Superman and it would cause them great pleasure to hurt him. You’re one way of accomplishing that.”
I think back to all those times that I’d either gotten kidnapped or almost died due to my profession. In ways that has nothing to do with my husband’s alter ego. And I can’t help but smile slightly. But looking across at the two people in front of me, I know that arguing and debating will do no good. Not with these two.
So, I shrug and grab my purse and jacket. “I need to stop in Smallville,” I say, my voice brooking no argument.
Diana nods. “I’ll take you there myself.”
The days and nights are crawling by. I don’t know where Jonzz is. And I see the despair all around me – the people chained to the walls, unable to even lift their heads, clearly hurt and hungry.
When I finally get enough strength to take over my captors and attempt an escape, it’s thwarted before it even begins. And I find that I’m in a place where war is commonplace. And an evil dictator rules the masses with a cruel form of democracy that is neither democratic nor humane.
In the arena, forced to fight against my will, I’m suddenly reminded of a more innocent time in my life. A cage that I’d been forced into; a Zoner I’d gone to take down. And, in spite of the surroundings, I find my lips curving up into a tiny smile as I remember my wife striding into the cage in a red leather ensemble. The image of her making a running leap onto the Zoner’s back – completely fearless – makes me almost laugh. Even a decade later.
But, of course, there is no Lois in this arena. Thank God. Only me and the man they call Draaga. A man beaten down by the system and forced to fight a never-ending battle with no respite in sight.
It’s been awhile since I’ve actually felt pain when being on the receiving end of a punch or a kick. But, still, I hold back. It’s not the fault of this man that he is being used as a pawn by a corrupt government. I hear the crowd cheering for me; urging me to kill. The blood-thirsty chants leave a bad taste in my mouth and I struggle to keep control while still deflecting the worst of the blows.
When I’ve won, I hear the leader, Mongul, tell me to kill Draaga. His voice echoes through the barren and rocky terrain with absolute authority. I resist an urge to laser vision the small metallic orb he’s been using to communicate.
Refusing to kill Draaga leads him to make the command for the robots to kill me. Bracing myself for the impact of their lasers, I tense. And then relax when the crowd starts chanting my name. It seems that the semblance of democracy has saved me.
For now.
“Diana, I have to go back.” My voice is desperate, I know, but I can’t help it. “Staying here. It’s driving me crazy.”
I stare out the window and see nothing but the black expanse of space. It’s been ten days of nothing but pacing and gazing out a window into the dark abyss. My fingers itch to get onto a keyboard. To spend my time letting out my frustrations on a poor, unsuspecting corrupt city official. Actually, with the current state of my mood, I’ll probably just go straight to the top and begin trying to take down the President. Lex Luthor and his nefarious ways always do make a good story. It’ll be a good way to keep my mind off of the endless waiting.
“Superman’s orders were clear, Lois.” Diana looks slightly sympathetic, but not much.
“What kind of Amazon are you? Taking orders from a man?” I know I’m treading on dangerous territory, but my temper is short and I’m sick and tired of hanging around a space station. I kind of relish the idea of getting into a fight with Diana. At least it gives me something do other than think.
Instead of taking the bait, Diana just smiles. “Let me phrase it differently. I made a promise to a friend. I’m the kind of Amazonian who takes her promises very seriously. Don’t worry, it won’t be much longer, I’m sure.”
Then, she lifts her hand and touches her ear, tilting her head to the side as though listening to someone. In a brisk tone, she looks up at me and says, “I have to head to the command room. You stay here. Eat something.”
Before I can respond, she turns and flies off. Rolling my eyes slightly, I wrap my arms around myself and continue to stare out the window. Even though the view is driving me crazy.
“That view can drive you crazy, huh?” A very amused voice comes from behind me, echoing my thoughts.
Glancing back, I see the Flash wheeling a cart laden with food towards the coffee table in my room. His name is Wally West and I don’t know him as well as I used to know Bart Allen, who had similar superpowers. This Flash is a fairly new superhero and seems to have taken to being a superhero too well. Or, at least, that’s what Clark and Bruce tell me.
Nodding slightly, I reply, “My thoughts exactly.”
With an apologetic shrug, Wally gestures towards the food. “There was more, but I ate half of it on my way here.”
“It’s okay. I’m not hungry,” I answer, with a shrug of my own.
From the little I’ve known of the Flash, I have found out that he is not a man who takes life very seriously. But when I turn my attention back to the window, he comes up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder. In a very serious and quiet tone, he says, “Lois, you have to eat. It’s been ten days. And you’re barely surviving on water and coffee.”
He’s taller than me by about four inches, so I have to look up to talk to him. The majority of his face is obscured by his red mask, but I can see that his eyes are kind and full of sympathy. For his sake, I force a smile. “Not true. I had a donut earlier.”
“Man cannot survive on donuts and coffee alone.” With a slight grin, he wraps his arm around me and steers me towards the chair in front of the food. “And, honestly, I don’t see why anyone would want to.”
Wally takes the lead and fills up a plate with tiny sandwiches and other things. He hands me the plate and then turns his attention towards filling up a glass with what appears to be freshly squeezed lemonade.
“The catering at Watchtower is the best,” Wally says, in a conversational way. “It’s the main reason I spend so much time here. Bruce hired the chefs and that man has good taste. As much as it pains me to admit it.”
I pick at the chicken sandwich, taking a small bite mainly to appease him. Putting down the plate, I accept the glass from him and start drinking the beverage. It gives my hands something to do.
“You know…” Wally begins, in a casual tone. “GL and Hawkgirl are very good at what they do. And J’onzz? He’s great. Not to mention that Superman… well… he’s Superman.”
I trace one finger over the cold surface of the glass, following a trail of water that is running down from the rim towards the bottom. “Is that your way of telling me not to worry?”
A quirk of his lips confirms it. “Pointless, huh?”
“A little.” Putting the glass back down on the table, I glance over at him. Suddenly, I recall that I know his fiancée slightly by professional association. “How’s Iris doing?”
“Iris is doing well.” As though he understands my need to change the subject, he immediately begins to open up. “Not exactly happy with me at the moment. I mean, is it my fault that I forgot our one year anniversary? I had things going on. Super-villains to fight. Cities to save. I told her, ‘Baby, listen, it’s either save the world or buy you flowers. You can’t have it all when you’re dating the Flash.’” He gives me an expectant look. “I mean, am I right or what?”
For some reason, I decide to give his comment some serious consideration. Clearly, I'm more desperate for a diversion than I thought. “Well. On some level, I guess you’re right. But… well… just because she’s engaged to a superhero doesn’t mean that Iris shouldn’t have the stuff that normal women want.”
“Typical.” Wally shakes his head in what is clearly mock disgust. “You side with the girl. Why am I not surprised?”
At that, I let out a slight laugh. “Look, you asked for my opinion. That’s not to say that Smallville hasn’t forgotten an anniversary or two.” I lean in closer to Wally to say, “Iris will get over it. When you love each other, that’s all that matters. Flowers? They’re nice and all, but all she really needs to know is that you’re thinking of her. That in the midst of saving cities, she still matters.”
Even through his mask, I could tell that the Flash was dubious. “I have to convince her that I’m thinking of her when I’m fighting a super-villain? Um, no offense, Lois, but that’s not possible. She won’t believe me.” Then, he seemed to think about it for a minute and added, “Even if it’s true.”
Glancing out the window, I swallow as I try to imagine where Clark is right at that moment. Is he fighting a super-villain? Fighting for his life with weakened breath? Is he thinking of me? Knowing I'm waiting for him to come back to me? I turn back to the Flash and clear my throat. “She’ll believe you. If it’s true love? She’ll believe you.”
As I walk through the war-torn planet, I find myself coming face to face with symbols and the letter "S" plastered all over every available surface. The symbol of the House of El. Now universally known as the symbol for Superman. Apparently, my victory over Draaga – and subsequent survival - has given people hope. And the symbol I wear on my chest is their way of spreading the message.
Shaking my head slightly, I think about how history repeats itself and how civilizations across the universe are all the same. I recall a time in my own city – less than a decade ago – where the citizens of Metropolis had done the same. And Lois had given speech after speech about how my crest was a symbol of hope.
If she was here, at this moment, she would have a witty comment to make about how she is always right. And how I am predictable and consistent in how I impact people. My heart twists at the memory of her and I find myself missing her fiercely.
Of course, I am happy that she is not here with me, in this horrible place. That she did not witness what I went through and the suffering around me. But I would give anything to hold her. To bury myself in her and to smell the light scent that is wholly and uniquely hers.
I have no idea how many days have passed since I was brought here, but I know it is enough that she now knows that something is wrong. I know her well enough to know that she is – at this moment – counting down the seconds until we’re back together again.
The thought of her anxiety causes me pain. But it also keeps me going.
“Anything new?” I ask, as I wander into the command room. I know what the answer is going to be, but I can’t help but ask, anyway.
Glancing away from the monitor, Diana takes in my appearance. “You look exhausted. You should sit down.”
Instead of arguing, I slide into the closest chair I could find. I’m completely oblivious to my surroundings. As it is, I have full access to the entire Watchtower but it’s a perk I never really take advantage of because I decided a long time ago that I don’t want to be that heavily involved in that aspect of my husband’s life. Even now, with a lot of spare time on my hands, I can’t bring myself to fill it by exploring the vast space station.
“Anything new?” I repeat.
“No.” Diana taps a few keys and says, in a brisk voice, “Shayera will contact us. Or Green Lantern. They’re both --.”
“Very good,” I finish, with a sardonic twist of my lips. “So I’ve heard. Repeatedly.”
Diana has the grace to blush. “I know this must be hard for you. But you must have faith. If we were talking about anyone other than Kal, I would be much more worried.”
I raise my brow slightly. “Why is that?”
Diana looks at me with confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why aren’t you worried about Smallville?” Rolling my eyes slightly, I shake my head. “Sure, he’s nearly invincible, but you guys do some crazy things. Who knows what’s going on? Where he is? Who has him?”
Taken aback by my outburst, Diana shakes her head, almost helplessly. “I know, Lois. But… I mean.” With a slight shrug, she finishes, “He’s Superman.”
No! I want to cry out. He’s not. He’s Clark Kent. He’s Smallville. He’s Lois Lane’s husband. He’s more than just a superhero in a cape. More than just the leader of the Justice League.
But I don’t say anything. Because I know that is not what Diana wants to hear from me. It’s not what any of them want to hear from me. They want to believe that their leader – the man in the red cape with the symbol of hope on his chest – is invincible. That he will fight, no matter what, to come back to them. That he will be strong enough to overcome anything or anyone.
Even when Clark is gone, he still needs to be the strongest person in the universe. Rather, they need him to be the strongest person in the universe. And I have to be his wife. So – of all people – the illusion can’t be shattered by me.
Taking a deep breath, I nod. “Of course. He’s Superman.” I wrap my arms around myself and rub my shoulders to feel warm. “I’m sure we’ll hear from him soon. No need to worry.” And then, in silence, I focus on doing what no one else will allow themselves to do. But that’s okay.
Because I worry enough for all of them.
As Mongul’s fist finds contact, I wince and stumble on my feet. Fighting Draaga had been difficult, but this fight is almost even more physically draining, because of the threat hanging over my head. I have the ability to finish off Mongul, but I cannot be responsible for the death of an entire planet. As I go through the motions of the fake fight – allowing Mongul to take a good swipe or two – my mind works frantically to figure out a solution out of this mess. Will Jonzz be able to figure out a way to help on the outside?
It becomes apparent that I have no choice but to hope and pray that my friend is able to save the world even when I am no longer going to be there to see it. Mongul has taken over and I have to allow him to win.
As each blow hits, the pain gets worse and worse. Images begin to flash through my mind: Lois, walking towards me down the aisle in her wedding dress. My farm in Smallville and the barn where I spent years finding sanctuary. My parents, looking at me with eyes full of pride and love. As piles of rocks rain around me, I find myself weakening.
I’m weak enough that – at first – it doesn’t register that Draaga has come back. I plead with him, trying to explain the deal. To stop him from destroying his planet. He hesitates and, slowly, the anger in his eyes is replaced with a look of wonder.
It’s the final thing I see before Mongul makes my world go black.
“I see we’re not sleeping?” Bruce manages to sound both amused, but serious at the same time. He strides into the command room and stares at the monitors with his hands clasped behind his back. “Perhaps you should have the doctor give you something.”
“I’m not exactly into drugs, Bruce,” I respond, almost automatically. “Besides, I’m not tired.” It's a lie. Not only am I tired, I’m so exhausted my body is aching. But I know that going to bed will only lead to tossing and turning and – if sleep comes – nightmares.
Bruce stares at me, for a second, with those eyes that see and know everything. “You seem to be holding up admirably well.”
My lips curve up into a half-grin. “Only you can manage to make a compliment sound like an insult.”
“It’s not meant to be an insult or a compliment.” Bruce pauses and adds, “It’s an observation.”
I raise my brows at him silently, waiting for him to continue.
“Given how you two feel about each other, I would have expected…,” Bruce hesitates and then finishes, “I’m surprised at how well you’re doing. That’s all.”
“Meaning, you expected me to be a basket case? Sobbing hysterically? Needing to be sedated?” I don’t know whether to be amused or annoyed. “My father was a general. I am more than familiar with the concept of waiting for a loved one to come back from a tour of duty.”
Casting a sideways glance at me, Bruce responded, “What we do is a little more complicated than that, Lois.”
“Not that much more complicated,” I counter.
“Yes, it is,” Bruce insists. After a second of silence, Bruce shakes his head. “This is why I don’t think it’s a good idea for people like us to have romantic relationships.”
Letting out a slight laugh, I point out, “You seem to be the only one that feels that way. Dinah and Ollie. Wally and Iris. Shayera and Hawkman. And – correct me if I’m wrong – but didn’t you have a fling with Catwoman?” I say the last word with a bit of a sneer. I’m not fond of Selena Kyle. “Seriously, sometimes I think your Justice League is a high school teen drama. You need a chart to keep track of whose hooking up with who.”
“I went out with her once or twice,” Bruce responds with gritted teeth. “But not as Batman. As Bruce Wayne. And, trust me, I’m not happy about the decisions that everyone else has made, either.”
I study him for a moment and then decide to go for broke. “You do know that Diana likes you, right?”
“Considering the fact that she’s asked me out seven times, I have some inkling,” Bruce responds, in a wry tone.
“She did?” I stare at him in amazement and then say, “Go Diana.”
Bruce shoots me an irritated look. “I said no, of course.”
I cock my head to the side and consider him for a second. “Why?”
Giving me one of those looks where it’s clear Bruce thinks I’m a moron, he says, “Because I’m Batman.”
I give him the exact same look back. “And she’s Wonder Woman.”
“It doesn’t mean she’s invincible,” Bruce answers, with an odd expression. “She still has weaknesses. Just like any other woman. I mean, she’s amazing. The strongest woman I know. With the exception of your husband, the strongest person I know. But….” Bruce stops and his face becomes impassive. Like granite. “We’re friends. That’s all. And that’s all it can ever be.”
“That’s all you’ll ever let it be,” I reply, coolly. Diana is a friend of mine and I find that I don’t like the idea of a man hurting her like this. “You’re doing yourself and Diana disservice.”
“Maybe it’ll be more of a disservice if I let it be more.”
“Why is that?” I ask, in a skeptical tone. “I think you’re grasping for straws, because it’s easier for you to think it’s too hard.”
“Did the thought occur to you, Lois,” Bruce says, a bit abruptly, as he turns to head out of the room, “That maybe others aren’t as strong as you and Kent?” With a slightly sardonic smile, he finishes, “Or maybe I just haven’t had as much experience waiting for people to return from their tour of duty. In my experience, there’s no return.”
Silently, I stare after him as he leaves the room. Suddenly faced with an empty room, I finally allow the tears that had been simmering close to the surface to boil over and begin to fall.
The cavalry arrives. Although I’m bleeding and bruised, I can’t help but smile at my friends and colleagues as they land. Green Lantern, Manhunter, and Hawkgirl. Each rush to my rescue and bring me up to speed.
They have freed me. Now, I no longer have to hold back and I’m able to meet Mongul on my terms. Fight for the people he’s brutalized over the years. But before I can exact justice, I’m interrupted by Draaga. This is something he must do. He demands satisfaction.
I understand, so I step back. When the brutal fight is over, Mongul’s crown rolls over the barren ground and Draaga picks it up. I should have expected it, but I am still a bit surprised when he offers me the crown. He wants me to rule.
I think back to my own world, my own people waiting back on Earth for me. I don’t tell him that I don’t even rule my own world. Just the thought brings forth the image of Lois laughing at me, while she gives me a lecture on how beautiful democracy is.
I don’t share this with the man in front of me. I know his world is not ready for democracy. His world needs a champion to stand up for them and to help them re-build. To create a world where democracy will once be possible. A person like the one standing before me.
So, I shake my head, and I tell him to take the crown. And then I remind him, “The truest test of honor isn’t how you die. It’s how you live.”
Then, I turn to my friends and say, with a smile, “Let’s go home.”
My eyes are burning and swollen. I’ve lost track of how long I have been crying, but the sobs have subsided for now and just left an ache in my head and chest behind. Every once in awhile, a slight hiccup escapes, but even that is quickly passing as I regain control of my breathing.
The slight pressure of a hand on my shoulder makes me stiffen. “I think you were quite clear on your thoughts, Bruce.” My tone is icy, but I don’t care.
“Man, Bruce? I’m offended.” Oliver’s easy laugh surrounds me. “Being mistaken for Wally would even have been improvement.”
Quickly, I turn in the chair to face him. “Ollie? When did you get here?” Leaping to my feet, I run into his open arms and give him a hug.
His lips slightly brush against my forehead and then he steps back. Gazing down at me critically, he asks, “How’re you holding up, Legs? I hear they haven’t found Boy Scout yet.”
With a tremulous smile, I admit, “It’s been two weeks, Ollie. I’m….” I don’t know how to finish the sentence.
Thankfully, Oliver doesn’t expect me, too. With the familiarity borne of years of friendship, he steers me around and settles me back down on the chair. And then he sits down on the chair next to mine and a comfortable silence descends as he props his legs up on a table. He leans back and folds his hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling.
We continue to sit like that for a few moments and then he breaks the silence to say, “So… is this the first time you’ve been on this Watchtower? Take the grand tour, yet?”
“I went on the tour the press go through.” I chew on my lower lip and then admit, “I considered going on a private tour, but I thought it was a little chancy with the whole Superman thing. People already think we’re too close.”
Letting out a slight snort, Oliver laughs. “Odd that you’d be concerned about the world thinking you’re too close to your husband.”
“Not all of us had a coming out party,” I remind him.
“And not everyone has you for a wife,” Oliver responds, a bit cryptically. Glancing around, he says, “Remember our first Watchtower? That old apartment in Metropolis?”
“How could I forget?” I lean back in my own chair and draw my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees. “The first time I went there, I was blown away.”
“Yeah.” With a sigh, he rakes his hand through his hair. “Imagine if you’d walked into THIS. Who would have figured that less than a decade later Watchtower would be upgraded to a floating space station?”
“I don’t know.” With a slight shrug, I admit, “This place may be grander, but that apartment – it had it’s own charm.”
“It was definitely cheaper to maintain.” And then he adds, a bit sheepishly, “Not that I’m the only one paying for it. Wayne’s coffers get hit much more than mine do.”
“Are you saying he’s richer than you?” I squint at Oliver and pretend this amazes me. “No way.”
“I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.” The slight smile Oliver sports throughout our exchange fades as he drops his hands and sits up slowly. “Lois – Dinah and I… we’re getting a divorce.”
This time, I’m not feigning my amazement. My jaw drops open. “What? What happened?”
He’s avoiding my gaze and states, simply, “Long story.”
This does not dissuade me. “Looks like we’ve got time.”
“God, Lois….” Oliver lets out a harsh breath and then jumps to his feet. Pacing a bit, he turns to face me with guilt written all over his face. “I cheated on her.”
Blinking slightly, I can only utter, “Oh.”
Flushing, he turns away from me. “It wasn’t the first time. So… well… she left me.”
“Right.” I nod, not knowing what to say to this man who is one of my oldest and dearest friends.
“Go ahead, Lois. Tell me I suck. Tell me that I screwed up.” Oliver gives me a beseeching look. “I deserve it.”
I clear my throat. “Oliver.” I dropped my legs to the floor and stand up. I make my way over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. In a soft voice, I say, “I can’t judge you. You guys… you lead tough lives. Am I sorry that this happened to your marriage? Yeah. But I can’t tell you that you suck. I don’t understand most of what you guys go through on a daily basis.”
Staring down at me, disbelief clearly showing, he asks, “Are you saying that you’d understand if Clark strayed?”
My hand drops from his arm and I grit my teeth. “Hell no. If Clark cheated on me, he’d be eating Kryptonite two seconds later.”
Letting a mirthless laugh, Oliver shook his head. “Dinah would agree with that course of action. Anyway, it’s not like you have anything to worry about. Unlike me, Clark is not an idiot.”
Afraid to look at him, I ask, in a soft voice, “Ollie. Do you think he’s OK?”
“Yes, I think so,” I hear him reply. “Clark always comes out of these sorts of things. Somehow. He’ll be fine.”
I nod, desperately wanting to believe him. But I can’t help but ask, anyway, “How do you know?”
His grasp is gentle as he takes a hold of my face and tilts it up towards him. His brown eyes are full of emotion. “Because I know Clark. He won’t let anything get in the way of coming back to you.”
Before I can respond, we hear the audio system crackle to life in the command center. A voice comes through, cutting in and out.
Lantern to Watchtower. We’re all right. We’re coming home.
As I make my way into the space station, all I can think about is getting back home to Metropolis. Lois is probably worried sick and annoyed that I didn’t check in.
Once I get to the main control room, though, I see her and – for a second – I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me. Then she runs towards me and flings her arms around me and I know that she’s real.
Burying my face in her long hair, I breathe in deeply and close my eyes; the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat like a soothing balm for my soul. My grip tightens on her for a second, but then I pull back so I can give her a deep kiss. Vaguely, I can sense that the entire Justice League surrounds us, but since they have the good sense to be silent, I decide to ignore them.
Whens she pulls back, she stares up for a few minutes, her hands fluttering against my face as though to reassure herself that I’m real. I know the feeling, because I can’t keep my hands off of her either, and never want to let her go.
But I frown when I take in her appearance. There are dark circles under her eyes and she looks thinner than the last time I saw her. “Lois. You look so exhausted.”
Instead of annoyance, she reacts by grinning. “That’s because your bed on this stupid space station is really uncomfortable. I haven’t slept in two weeks, Smallville.”
“You’ve been here for two weeks?” I raise my brow, feeling incredulous. “Why?”
“Because someone ordered Tweedledee and Tweedledum over there to yank me up here if something happened to you.”
With a sharp jerk of her head she indicates towards Bruce and Diana, who both look more than a little irritated at the monikers. Rather, Bruce looks irritated. Diana just looks confused.
Lois’s eyes travel over me and she asks, “What did happen to you? Tell me you’re okay.”
I hesitate and then look around me, where the entire Justice League waits to hear our story. I know what they expect. They want Superman to debrief them. Bruce is waiting for me to update our log. The younger, newer members want to hear tales of bravery and triumph. As Diana always says, it builds morale, so it’s our obligation to share these sorts of things whenever we can. Others just want to know what threat is out there that could hold up Superman for two weeks, and how should they prepare themselves for it.
But right now, I don’t want to be Superman. I glance down at my wife as she gazes up at me with unabashed love shining from her hazel eyes. Right now, I want to be Clark Kent.
So, I look around and say, “Lois and I need to catch up.” Ignoring their protests, I bend down slightly to slide my arm under Lois’s knees and I pick her up. In a low voice, for her ears only, I add, “My bed is not lumpy. In fact, I can prove it to you.”
Lois catches her breath and looks up at me with amusement making her eyes sparkle. “Oohh… challenge accepted. In fact, I think you may have to prove it to me all night long. I’m hard to convince.”
With a laugh, I super-speed us to the west wing of the space station, where I keep my suite of rooms. When we arrive there, I answer, “I think I’m up to the challenge.”
As she slides down my body to stand on her own feet, her smile fades. With a slight stroke of my cheek she admits, “You scared me, Smallville.”
Looking down at her, I tell her the truth. “I was scared, too.” And, then, we both settle down on the bed as I tell her the entire story. The complete version that will not be told to the members of the Justice League or written down in the logs. The version that I’ll only tell my wife.
And, for the first time in weeks, I feel at peace.
__________________
It starts out much like any other day. Other than the fact that I oversleep and rush to work, breaking every speed limit on the way. Sometimes, I forget that Clark isn’t around, so I’ll need to rely on the old-fashioned methods of getting to work. And so I succumb to laziness and hit the snooze button one too many times.
In any case, I manage to make it into the DP on time; just barely sliding into the last vacant seat at the staff meeting two seconds before Perry enters. The meeting is the typical mishmash of random comments and directives from our editor-in-chief. My mind wanders, from time to time, as I doodle on the blank page in my notebook. Not that I’d admit it to anyone, but Clark’s latest absence is starting to weigh on me. He’s been gone two weeks and our contact is sporadic at best.
When the meeting ends, I make my way up to the office I share with Clark and settle in, turning my attention to the latest article I’m working on. So intent on my task, I don’t notice anything remiss until someone clears his throat to get my attention.
Startled, I glance up. The last two people I expect to see are closing the door behind them and staring at me with somber expressions.
“Diana. Bruce.” I don’t bother to hide my shock and I quickly get up, nervously smoothing down imaginary wrinkles on my skirt with damp hands. “What… what’s going on?”
My two friends share a fleeting glance and then turn their attention towards me. The look, though slight, seems to speak a thousand words, as though they are deciding – in that moment – who will take the lead.
As usual, it’s Bruce who speaks first. “Lois. We came to tell you that Kent is missing.”
My eyes close as I try to comprehend what Bruce is saying. He continues speaking, but I don’t hear anything over the roar of blood rushing through my ears. Feeling light-headed, I reach out blindly for my chair, grasping it tightly for support.
“Lois.” For the first time, Diana speaks. When I look towards her, I focus on her and see concern in her deep blue eyes. “Are you all right?”
Letting out a slight laugh, I shake my head and lie, “Yes. Tell me… what happened? When?”
Bruce and Diana exchange another look and I get the sense that Bruce has already covered what I’m asking. But Bruce doesn’t point that out. Instead, he just says, “Kent, Jonzz, Stewart, and Shayera were all on a routine mission. Kent and Jonzz disappeared. Stewart and Shayera have gone after them to find them.”
A million questions race through my mind. “How long has he been missing? What was the mission? Why are Jon and Shayera the only ones going after them? And where were they when they disappeared? And do you know WHY they disappeared?” Taking in a deep breath, I walk around my desk and say in a brisk voice, “Why are you two not looking? Aren’t you supposed to be the best in the JL? What are you doing HERE?”
Looking a little disconcerted by my questions, Diana just blinks at me for a second.
Bruce decides to answer. “He’s been missing one week. I can’t tell you what the mission was. The reason Jon and Shayera have gone after them is because they were the closest. We don’t know why, yet, but we’re working on it. And the reason we’re not looking is because John and Shayera are capable of bringing them back. It makes more sense for us to stay on Watchtower duty and make sure Earth isn’t left unprotected.”
“And the reason we’re here at the DP is because we promised Kal that if anything like this ever happened that we’d tell you personally,” Diana adds, in a gentle voice. “He didn’t… doesn’t want you to hear it from the newswire.”
I stare at her in confusion. “You’re going to announce this? That Martian Manhunter and Superman are missing?”
“At some point, we may not have a choice.” Bruce looks resigned. “We work with too many diplomats and politicians. We can only explain Superman being MIA for so long.”
Then everything clicks into place. In a low voice, I say, “So what you’re saying is that you don’t expect him to be coming back anytime soon.”
“I’m saying that I don’t know what to expect,” Bruce responds, almost immediately.
“But you’re expecting the worst,” I retort, starting to get annoyed. “Why else would you consider telling everyone?”
“Enough.” Diana looks at both of us with a steely gaze. “We’re talking in circles. Lois, you need to come with us. To Watchtower.”
“Excuse me?” Before she can say anything, I’m shaking my head. “I can’t. I have work to do here…. I need to talk to Clark’s mom.” My voice trails off as I imagine what that conversation is going to be like. “I can wait here. Get updates here.” The idea of leaving my life at the DP behind fills me with panic.
“You have no choice. Kal’s instructions were clear.” Diana looks immovable. “If anything happens to him like this, we’re to bring you to Watchtower for your safety. Just in case.”
“Just in case what?” I ask, with genuine confusion.
“Lois, we have no clue where he is. Or who’s holding him. If they manage to access certain information about Kent’s personal life….” Bruce stops and seems to choose his words carefully. “Many people hate Superman and it would cause them great pleasure to hurt him. You’re one way of accomplishing that.”
I think back to all those times that I’d either gotten kidnapped or almost died due to my profession. In ways that has nothing to do with my husband’s alter ego. And I can’t help but smile slightly. But looking across at the two people in front of me, I know that arguing and debating will do no good. Not with these two.
So, I shrug and grab my purse and jacket. “I need to stop in Smallville,” I say, my voice brooking no argument.
Diana nods. “I’ll take you there myself.”
~ S ~
The days and nights are crawling by. I don’t know where Jonzz is. And I see the despair all around me – the people chained to the walls, unable to even lift their heads, clearly hurt and hungry.
When I finally get enough strength to take over my captors and attempt an escape, it’s thwarted before it even begins. And I find that I’m in a place where war is commonplace. And an evil dictator rules the masses with a cruel form of democracy that is neither democratic nor humane.
In the arena, forced to fight against my will, I’m suddenly reminded of a more innocent time in my life. A cage that I’d been forced into; a Zoner I’d gone to take down. And, in spite of the surroundings, I find my lips curving up into a tiny smile as I remember my wife striding into the cage in a red leather ensemble. The image of her making a running leap onto the Zoner’s back – completely fearless – makes me almost laugh. Even a decade later.
But, of course, there is no Lois in this arena. Thank God. Only me and the man they call Draaga. A man beaten down by the system and forced to fight a never-ending battle with no respite in sight.
It’s been awhile since I’ve actually felt pain when being on the receiving end of a punch or a kick. But, still, I hold back. It’s not the fault of this man that he is being used as a pawn by a corrupt government. I hear the crowd cheering for me; urging me to kill. The blood-thirsty chants leave a bad taste in my mouth and I struggle to keep control while still deflecting the worst of the blows.
When I’ve won, I hear the leader, Mongul, tell me to kill Draaga. His voice echoes through the barren and rocky terrain with absolute authority. I resist an urge to laser vision the small metallic orb he’s been using to communicate.
Refusing to kill Draaga leads him to make the command for the robots to kill me. Bracing myself for the impact of their lasers, I tense. And then relax when the crowd starts chanting my name. It seems that the semblance of democracy has saved me.
For now.
~ S ~
“Diana, I have to go back.” My voice is desperate, I know, but I can’t help it. “Staying here. It’s driving me crazy.”
I stare out the window and see nothing but the black expanse of space. It’s been ten days of nothing but pacing and gazing out a window into the dark abyss. My fingers itch to get onto a keyboard. To spend my time letting out my frustrations on a poor, unsuspecting corrupt city official. Actually, with the current state of my mood, I’ll probably just go straight to the top and begin trying to take down the President. Lex Luthor and his nefarious ways always do make a good story. It’ll be a good way to keep my mind off of the endless waiting.
“Superman’s orders were clear, Lois.” Diana looks slightly sympathetic, but not much.
“What kind of Amazon are you? Taking orders from a man?” I know I’m treading on dangerous territory, but my temper is short and I’m sick and tired of hanging around a space station. I kind of relish the idea of getting into a fight with Diana. At least it gives me something do other than think.
Instead of taking the bait, Diana just smiles. “Let me phrase it differently. I made a promise to a friend. I’m the kind of Amazonian who takes her promises very seriously. Don’t worry, it won’t be much longer, I’m sure.”
Then, she lifts her hand and touches her ear, tilting her head to the side as though listening to someone. In a brisk tone, she looks up at me and says, “I have to head to the command room. You stay here. Eat something.”
Before I can respond, she turns and flies off. Rolling my eyes slightly, I wrap my arms around myself and continue to stare out the window. Even though the view is driving me crazy.
“That view can drive you crazy, huh?” A very amused voice comes from behind me, echoing my thoughts.
Glancing back, I see the Flash wheeling a cart laden with food towards the coffee table in my room. His name is Wally West and I don’t know him as well as I used to know Bart Allen, who had similar superpowers. This Flash is a fairly new superhero and seems to have taken to being a superhero too well. Or, at least, that’s what Clark and Bruce tell me.
Nodding slightly, I reply, “My thoughts exactly.”
With an apologetic shrug, Wally gestures towards the food. “There was more, but I ate half of it on my way here.”
“It’s okay. I’m not hungry,” I answer, with a shrug of my own.
From the little I’ve known of the Flash, I have found out that he is not a man who takes life very seriously. But when I turn my attention back to the window, he comes up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder. In a very serious and quiet tone, he says, “Lois, you have to eat. It’s been ten days. And you’re barely surviving on water and coffee.”
He’s taller than me by about four inches, so I have to look up to talk to him. The majority of his face is obscured by his red mask, but I can see that his eyes are kind and full of sympathy. For his sake, I force a smile. “Not true. I had a donut earlier.”
“Man cannot survive on donuts and coffee alone.” With a slight grin, he wraps his arm around me and steers me towards the chair in front of the food. “And, honestly, I don’t see why anyone would want to.”
Wally takes the lead and fills up a plate with tiny sandwiches and other things. He hands me the plate and then turns his attention towards filling up a glass with what appears to be freshly squeezed lemonade.
“The catering at Watchtower is the best,” Wally says, in a conversational way. “It’s the main reason I spend so much time here. Bruce hired the chefs and that man has good taste. As much as it pains me to admit it.”
I pick at the chicken sandwich, taking a small bite mainly to appease him. Putting down the plate, I accept the glass from him and start drinking the beverage. It gives my hands something to do.
“You know…” Wally begins, in a casual tone. “GL and Hawkgirl are very good at what they do. And J’onzz? He’s great. Not to mention that Superman… well… he’s Superman.”
I trace one finger over the cold surface of the glass, following a trail of water that is running down from the rim towards the bottom. “Is that your way of telling me not to worry?”
A quirk of his lips confirms it. “Pointless, huh?”
“A little.” Putting the glass back down on the table, I glance over at him. Suddenly, I recall that I know his fiancée slightly by professional association. “How’s Iris doing?”
“Iris is doing well.” As though he understands my need to change the subject, he immediately begins to open up. “Not exactly happy with me at the moment. I mean, is it my fault that I forgot our one year anniversary? I had things going on. Super-villains to fight. Cities to save. I told her, ‘Baby, listen, it’s either save the world or buy you flowers. You can’t have it all when you’re dating the Flash.’” He gives me an expectant look. “I mean, am I right or what?”
For some reason, I decide to give his comment some serious consideration. Clearly, I'm more desperate for a diversion than I thought. “Well. On some level, I guess you’re right. But… well… just because she’s engaged to a superhero doesn’t mean that Iris shouldn’t have the stuff that normal women want.”
“Typical.” Wally shakes his head in what is clearly mock disgust. “You side with the girl. Why am I not surprised?”
At that, I let out a slight laugh. “Look, you asked for my opinion. That’s not to say that Smallville hasn’t forgotten an anniversary or two.” I lean in closer to Wally to say, “Iris will get over it. When you love each other, that’s all that matters. Flowers? They’re nice and all, but all she really needs to know is that you’re thinking of her. That in the midst of saving cities, she still matters.”
Even through his mask, I could tell that the Flash was dubious. “I have to convince her that I’m thinking of her when I’m fighting a super-villain? Um, no offense, Lois, but that’s not possible. She won’t believe me.” Then, he seemed to think about it for a minute and added, “Even if it’s true.”
Glancing out the window, I swallow as I try to imagine where Clark is right at that moment. Is he fighting a super-villain? Fighting for his life with weakened breath? Is he thinking of me? Knowing I'm waiting for him to come back to me? I turn back to the Flash and clear my throat. “She’ll believe you. If it’s true love? She’ll believe you.”
~ S ~
As I walk through the war-torn planet, I find myself coming face to face with symbols and the letter "S" plastered all over every available surface. The symbol of the House of El. Now universally known as the symbol for Superman. Apparently, my victory over Draaga – and subsequent survival - has given people hope. And the symbol I wear on my chest is their way of spreading the message.
Shaking my head slightly, I think about how history repeats itself and how civilizations across the universe are all the same. I recall a time in my own city – less than a decade ago – where the citizens of Metropolis had done the same. And Lois had given speech after speech about how my crest was a symbol of hope.
If she was here, at this moment, she would have a witty comment to make about how she is always right. And how I am predictable and consistent in how I impact people. My heart twists at the memory of her and I find myself missing her fiercely.
Of course, I am happy that she is not here with me, in this horrible place. That she did not witness what I went through and the suffering around me. But I would give anything to hold her. To bury myself in her and to smell the light scent that is wholly and uniquely hers.
I have no idea how many days have passed since I was brought here, but I know it is enough that she now knows that something is wrong. I know her well enough to know that she is – at this moment – counting down the seconds until we’re back together again.
The thought of her anxiety causes me pain. But it also keeps me going.
~ S ~
“Anything new?” I ask, as I wander into the command room. I know what the answer is going to be, but I can’t help but ask, anyway.
Glancing away from the monitor, Diana takes in my appearance. “You look exhausted. You should sit down.”
Instead of arguing, I slide into the closest chair I could find. I’m completely oblivious to my surroundings. As it is, I have full access to the entire Watchtower but it’s a perk I never really take advantage of because I decided a long time ago that I don’t want to be that heavily involved in that aspect of my husband’s life. Even now, with a lot of spare time on my hands, I can’t bring myself to fill it by exploring the vast space station.
“Anything new?” I repeat.
“No.” Diana taps a few keys and says, in a brisk voice, “Shayera will contact us. Or Green Lantern. They’re both --.”
“Very good,” I finish, with a sardonic twist of my lips. “So I’ve heard. Repeatedly.”
Diana has the grace to blush. “I know this must be hard for you. But you must have faith. If we were talking about anyone other than Kal, I would be much more worried.”
I raise my brow slightly. “Why is that?”
Diana looks at me with confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why aren’t you worried about Smallville?” Rolling my eyes slightly, I shake my head. “Sure, he’s nearly invincible, but you guys do some crazy things. Who knows what’s going on? Where he is? Who has him?”
Taken aback by my outburst, Diana shakes her head, almost helplessly. “I know, Lois. But… I mean.” With a slight shrug, she finishes, “He’s Superman.”
No! I want to cry out. He’s not. He’s Clark Kent. He’s Smallville. He’s Lois Lane’s husband. He’s more than just a superhero in a cape. More than just the leader of the Justice League.
But I don’t say anything. Because I know that is not what Diana wants to hear from me. It’s not what any of them want to hear from me. They want to believe that their leader – the man in the red cape with the symbol of hope on his chest – is invincible. That he will fight, no matter what, to come back to them. That he will be strong enough to overcome anything or anyone.
Even when Clark is gone, he still needs to be the strongest person in the universe. Rather, they need him to be the strongest person in the universe. And I have to be his wife. So – of all people – the illusion can’t be shattered by me.
Taking a deep breath, I nod. “Of course. He’s Superman.” I wrap my arms around myself and rub my shoulders to feel warm. “I’m sure we’ll hear from him soon. No need to worry.” And then, in silence, I focus on doing what no one else will allow themselves to do. But that’s okay.
Because I worry enough for all of them.
~ S ~
As Mongul’s fist finds contact, I wince and stumble on my feet. Fighting Draaga had been difficult, but this fight is almost even more physically draining, because of the threat hanging over my head. I have the ability to finish off Mongul, but I cannot be responsible for the death of an entire planet. As I go through the motions of the fake fight – allowing Mongul to take a good swipe or two – my mind works frantically to figure out a solution out of this mess. Will Jonzz be able to figure out a way to help on the outside?
It becomes apparent that I have no choice but to hope and pray that my friend is able to save the world even when I am no longer going to be there to see it. Mongul has taken over and I have to allow him to win.
As each blow hits, the pain gets worse and worse. Images begin to flash through my mind: Lois, walking towards me down the aisle in her wedding dress. My farm in Smallville and the barn where I spent years finding sanctuary. My parents, looking at me with eyes full of pride and love. As piles of rocks rain around me, I find myself weakening.
I’m weak enough that – at first – it doesn’t register that Draaga has come back. I plead with him, trying to explain the deal. To stop him from destroying his planet. He hesitates and, slowly, the anger in his eyes is replaced with a look of wonder.
It’s the final thing I see before Mongul makes my world go black.
~ S ~
“I see we’re not sleeping?” Bruce manages to sound both amused, but serious at the same time. He strides into the command room and stares at the monitors with his hands clasped behind his back. “Perhaps you should have the doctor give you something.”
“I’m not exactly into drugs, Bruce,” I respond, almost automatically. “Besides, I’m not tired.” It's a lie. Not only am I tired, I’m so exhausted my body is aching. But I know that going to bed will only lead to tossing and turning and – if sleep comes – nightmares.
Bruce stares at me, for a second, with those eyes that see and know everything. “You seem to be holding up admirably well.”
My lips curve up into a half-grin. “Only you can manage to make a compliment sound like an insult.”
“It’s not meant to be an insult or a compliment.” Bruce pauses and adds, “It’s an observation.”
I raise my brows at him silently, waiting for him to continue.
“Given how you two feel about each other, I would have expected…,” Bruce hesitates and then finishes, “I’m surprised at how well you’re doing. That’s all.”
“Meaning, you expected me to be a basket case? Sobbing hysterically? Needing to be sedated?” I don’t know whether to be amused or annoyed. “My father was a general. I am more than familiar with the concept of waiting for a loved one to come back from a tour of duty.”
Casting a sideways glance at me, Bruce responded, “What we do is a little more complicated than that, Lois.”
“Not that much more complicated,” I counter.
“Yes, it is,” Bruce insists. After a second of silence, Bruce shakes his head. “This is why I don’t think it’s a good idea for people like us to have romantic relationships.”
Letting out a slight laugh, I point out, “You seem to be the only one that feels that way. Dinah and Ollie. Wally and Iris. Shayera and Hawkman. And – correct me if I’m wrong – but didn’t you have a fling with Catwoman?” I say the last word with a bit of a sneer. I’m not fond of Selena Kyle. “Seriously, sometimes I think your Justice League is a high school teen drama. You need a chart to keep track of whose hooking up with who.”
“I went out with her once or twice,” Bruce responds with gritted teeth. “But not as Batman. As Bruce Wayne. And, trust me, I’m not happy about the decisions that everyone else has made, either.”
I study him for a moment and then decide to go for broke. “You do know that Diana likes you, right?”
“Considering the fact that she’s asked me out seven times, I have some inkling,” Bruce responds, in a wry tone.
“She did?” I stare at him in amazement and then say, “Go Diana.”
Bruce shoots me an irritated look. “I said no, of course.”
I cock my head to the side and consider him for a second. “Why?”
Giving me one of those looks where it’s clear Bruce thinks I’m a moron, he says, “Because I’m Batman.”
I give him the exact same look back. “And she’s Wonder Woman.”
“It doesn’t mean she’s invincible,” Bruce answers, with an odd expression. “She still has weaknesses. Just like any other woman. I mean, she’s amazing. The strongest woman I know. With the exception of your husband, the strongest person I know. But….” Bruce stops and his face becomes impassive. Like granite. “We’re friends. That’s all. And that’s all it can ever be.”
“That’s all you’ll ever let it be,” I reply, coolly. Diana is a friend of mine and I find that I don’t like the idea of a man hurting her like this. “You’re doing yourself and Diana disservice.”
“Maybe it’ll be more of a disservice if I let it be more.”
“Why is that?” I ask, in a skeptical tone. “I think you’re grasping for straws, because it’s easier for you to think it’s too hard.”
“Did the thought occur to you, Lois,” Bruce says, a bit abruptly, as he turns to head out of the room, “That maybe others aren’t as strong as you and Kent?” With a slightly sardonic smile, he finishes, “Or maybe I just haven’t had as much experience waiting for people to return from their tour of duty. In my experience, there’s no return.”
Silently, I stare after him as he leaves the room. Suddenly faced with an empty room, I finally allow the tears that had been simmering close to the surface to boil over and begin to fall.
~ S ~
The cavalry arrives. Although I’m bleeding and bruised, I can’t help but smile at my friends and colleagues as they land. Green Lantern, Manhunter, and Hawkgirl. Each rush to my rescue and bring me up to speed.
They have freed me. Now, I no longer have to hold back and I’m able to meet Mongul on my terms. Fight for the people he’s brutalized over the years. But before I can exact justice, I’m interrupted by Draaga. This is something he must do. He demands satisfaction.
I understand, so I step back. When the brutal fight is over, Mongul’s crown rolls over the barren ground and Draaga picks it up. I should have expected it, but I am still a bit surprised when he offers me the crown. He wants me to rule.
I think back to my own world, my own people waiting back on Earth for me. I don’t tell him that I don’t even rule my own world. Just the thought brings forth the image of Lois laughing at me, while she gives me a lecture on how beautiful democracy is.
I don’t share this with the man in front of me. I know his world is not ready for democracy. His world needs a champion to stand up for them and to help them re-build. To create a world where democracy will once be possible. A person like the one standing before me.
So, I shake my head, and I tell him to take the crown. And then I remind him, “The truest test of honor isn’t how you die. It’s how you live.”
Then, I turn to my friends and say, with a smile, “Let’s go home.”
~ S ~
My eyes are burning and swollen. I’ve lost track of how long I have been crying, but the sobs have subsided for now and just left an ache in my head and chest behind. Every once in awhile, a slight hiccup escapes, but even that is quickly passing as I regain control of my breathing.
The slight pressure of a hand on my shoulder makes me stiffen. “I think you were quite clear on your thoughts, Bruce.” My tone is icy, but I don’t care.
“Man, Bruce? I’m offended.” Oliver’s easy laugh surrounds me. “Being mistaken for Wally would even have been improvement.”
Quickly, I turn in the chair to face him. “Ollie? When did you get here?” Leaping to my feet, I run into his open arms and give him a hug.
His lips slightly brush against my forehead and then he steps back. Gazing down at me critically, he asks, “How’re you holding up, Legs? I hear they haven’t found Boy Scout yet.”
With a tremulous smile, I admit, “It’s been two weeks, Ollie. I’m….” I don’t know how to finish the sentence.
Thankfully, Oliver doesn’t expect me, too. With the familiarity borne of years of friendship, he steers me around and settles me back down on the chair. And then he sits down on the chair next to mine and a comfortable silence descends as he props his legs up on a table. He leans back and folds his hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling.
We continue to sit like that for a few moments and then he breaks the silence to say, “So… is this the first time you’ve been on this Watchtower? Take the grand tour, yet?”
“I went on the tour the press go through.” I chew on my lower lip and then admit, “I considered going on a private tour, but I thought it was a little chancy with the whole Superman thing. People already think we’re too close.”
Letting out a slight snort, Oliver laughs. “Odd that you’d be concerned about the world thinking you’re too close to your husband.”
“Not all of us had a coming out party,” I remind him.
“And not everyone has you for a wife,” Oliver responds, a bit cryptically. Glancing around, he says, “Remember our first Watchtower? That old apartment in Metropolis?”
“How could I forget?” I lean back in my own chair and draw my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees. “The first time I went there, I was blown away.”
“Yeah.” With a sigh, he rakes his hand through his hair. “Imagine if you’d walked into THIS. Who would have figured that less than a decade later Watchtower would be upgraded to a floating space station?”
“I don’t know.” With a slight shrug, I admit, “This place may be grander, but that apartment – it had it’s own charm.”
“It was definitely cheaper to maintain.” And then he adds, a bit sheepishly, “Not that I’m the only one paying for it. Wayne’s coffers get hit much more than mine do.”
“Are you saying he’s richer than you?” I squint at Oliver and pretend this amazes me. “No way.”
“I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.” The slight smile Oliver sports throughout our exchange fades as he drops his hands and sits up slowly. “Lois – Dinah and I… we’re getting a divorce.”
This time, I’m not feigning my amazement. My jaw drops open. “What? What happened?”
He’s avoiding my gaze and states, simply, “Long story.”
This does not dissuade me. “Looks like we’ve got time.”
“God, Lois….” Oliver lets out a harsh breath and then jumps to his feet. Pacing a bit, he turns to face me with guilt written all over his face. “I cheated on her.”
Blinking slightly, I can only utter, “Oh.”
Flushing, he turns away from me. “It wasn’t the first time. So… well… she left me.”
“Right.” I nod, not knowing what to say to this man who is one of my oldest and dearest friends.
“Go ahead, Lois. Tell me I suck. Tell me that I screwed up.” Oliver gives me a beseeching look. “I deserve it.”
I clear my throat. “Oliver.” I dropped my legs to the floor and stand up. I make my way over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. In a soft voice, I say, “I can’t judge you. You guys… you lead tough lives. Am I sorry that this happened to your marriage? Yeah. But I can’t tell you that you suck. I don’t understand most of what you guys go through on a daily basis.”
Staring down at me, disbelief clearly showing, he asks, “Are you saying that you’d understand if Clark strayed?”
My hand drops from his arm and I grit my teeth. “Hell no. If Clark cheated on me, he’d be eating Kryptonite two seconds later.”
Letting a mirthless laugh, Oliver shook his head. “Dinah would agree with that course of action. Anyway, it’s not like you have anything to worry about. Unlike me, Clark is not an idiot.”
Afraid to look at him, I ask, in a soft voice, “Ollie. Do you think he’s OK?”
“Yes, I think so,” I hear him reply. “Clark always comes out of these sorts of things. Somehow. He’ll be fine.”
I nod, desperately wanting to believe him. But I can’t help but ask, anyway, “How do you know?”
His grasp is gentle as he takes a hold of my face and tilts it up towards him. His brown eyes are full of emotion. “Because I know Clark. He won’t let anything get in the way of coming back to you.”
Before I can respond, we hear the audio system crackle to life in the command center. A voice comes through, cutting in and out.
Lantern to Watchtower. We’re all right. We’re coming home.
~ S ~
As I make my way into the space station, all I can think about is getting back home to Metropolis. Lois is probably worried sick and annoyed that I didn’t check in.
Once I get to the main control room, though, I see her and – for a second – I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me. Then she runs towards me and flings her arms around me and I know that she’s real.
Burying my face in her long hair, I breathe in deeply and close my eyes; the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat like a soothing balm for my soul. My grip tightens on her for a second, but then I pull back so I can give her a deep kiss. Vaguely, I can sense that the entire Justice League surrounds us, but since they have the good sense to be silent, I decide to ignore them.
Whens she pulls back, she stares up for a few minutes, her hands fluttering against my face as though to reassure herself that I’m real. I know the feeling, because I can’t keep my hands off of her either, and never want to let her go.
But I frown when I take in her appearance. There are dark circles under her eyes and she looks thinner than the last time I saw her. “Lois. You look so exhausted.”
Instead of annoyance, she reacts by grinning. “That’s because your bed on this stupid space station is really uncomfortable. I haven’t slept in two weeks, Smallville.”
“You’ve been here for two weeks?” I raise my brow, feeling incredulous. “Why?”
“Because someone ordered Tweedledee and Tweedledum over there to yank me up here if something happened to you.”
With a sharp jerk of her head she indicates towards Bruce and Diana, who both look more than a little irritated at the monikers. Rather, Bruce looks irritated. Diana just looks confused.
Lois’s eyes travel over me and she asks, “What did happen to you? Tell me you’re okay.”
I hesitate and then look around me, where the entire Justice League waits to hear our story. I know what they expect. They want Superman to debrief them. Bruce is waiting for me to update our log. The younger, newer members want to hear tales of bravery and triumph. As Diana always says, it builds morale, so it’s our obligation to share these sorts of things whenever we can. Others just want to know what threat is out there that could hold up Superman for two weeks, and how should they prepare themselves for it.
But right now, I don’t want to be Superman. I glance down at my wife as she gazes up at me with unabashed love shining from her hazel eyes. Right now, I want to be Clark Kent.
So, I look around and say, “Lois and I need to catch up.” Ignoring their protests, I bend down slightly to slide my arm under Lois’s knees and I pick her up. In a low voice, for her ears only, I add, “My bed is not lumpy. In fact, I can prove it to you.”
Lois catches her breath and looks up at me with amusement making her eyes sparkle. “Oohh… challenge accepted. In fact, I think you may have to prove it to me all night long. I’m hard to convince.”
With a laugh, I super-speed us to the west wing of the space station, where I keep my suite of rooms. When we arrive there, I answer, “I think I’m up to the challenge.”
As she slides down my body to stand on her own feet, her smile fades. With a slight stroke of my cheek she admits, “You scared me, Smallville.”
Looking down at her, I tell her the truth. “I was scared, too.” And, then, we both settle down on the bed as I tell her the entire story. The complete version that will not be told to the members of the Justice League or written down in the logs. The version that I’ll only tell my wife.
And, for the first time in weeks, I feel at peace.
~ The End ~
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Date: 2011-01-26 03:00 am (UTC)*bookmarks*
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Date: 2011-01-26 03:44 am (UTC)The interesting thing is that I didn't make up the Superman parts. That was straight out of the episode (for the most part) and it made me so happy to see that it fit SVClark so well. I didn't feel like I was writing him OOC.
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Date: 2011-01-26 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-26 03:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-26 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-26 04:18 am (UTC)I love this story. Such heartfelt emotions, and you are one of the best authors EVER that I have read that really GET emotional honesty. From the words the characters use for themselves to the words they express to each other, each word is so carefully chosen, and carefully used. From the care Clark shows for Lois in having her protected from his enemies to Lois' standing up for the Superman iconography, they just embody the characters on TV and bring it to a completely new level. Bravo, keep up the great work!
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Date: 2011-01-26 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-26 06:50 am (UTC)Satisfying.
Date: 2011-01-26 10:15 am (UTC)I love the fill up shots, or offscreenville as some say, because there is always so much left out, whether its comics or tv show, or movies. And this is as always a Sana-fic, just looking at the authir name let's me know, it's gonna be satisfying to my cloiser heart.
Oh , and this one just moved me...
"No! I want to cry out. He’s not. He’s Clark Kent. He’s Smallville. He’s Lois Lane’s husband. "
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Date: 2011-01-26 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-26 06:20 pm (UTC)The JL cameos are lovely, too. You make me want to see more of them. :D
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Date: 2011-01-26 08:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 12:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 01:19 pm (UTC)I will admit to not being up to date in anyway, shape or fashion on the Justice League, but what I do know is that you wrote one hell of a story.
I loved the details in the story, more than anything. Lois and Clark's memories of past trials, challenges and moments together.
Favourite part is this:
"I think back to my own world, my own people waiting back on Earth for me. I don’t tell him that I don’t even rule my own world. Just the thought brings forth the image of Lois laughing at me, while she gives me a lecture on how beautiful democracy is."
The intimate way these two know each other ... I just love how this is always consistently present in your writing.
I very much enjoyed reading it.
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Date: 2011-01-29 06:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-31 10:42 pm (UTC)My favorite line: "No! I want to cry out. He’s not. He’s Clark Kent. He’s Smallville. He’s Lois Lane’s husband. He’s more than just a superhero in a cape. More than just the leader of the Justice League."
I saw just yesterday that you had added a new story and was so excited to start reading when my phone rang and then some other thing came up and I didn't have time untill now to read it. I think I can honestly say I thought about your story waiting for me every hour or so - maybe a little crazy??
Anyway it was well worth the wait, absolutely great to get to read a new story from you.
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Date: 2011-02-06 09:54 am (UTC)I absolutely love JLU. The only thing it's missing is Lois. Can you please do this to every episodes of all 5 seasons? ;)
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Date: 2011-02-06 03:23 pm (UTC)I totally agree about JLU. It's awesome, but there are so many times where I'm like, "Where's LOIS? She should have a reaction to this." "SV" has spoiled me with all the Lois Lane goodness.
Man... writing this one drabble was so hard. I can't even imagine doing this for all 5 seasons. Although, now that I think of it, it would be hilarious to do a drabble on the convo that Clark has with Lois explaining the time Morgana turned the entire Justice League into kids. LOL
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Date: 2012-04-26 08:20 pm (UTC)Unfortunately i never watched JLU seasons (i know, i must do something about it hehehe)but that was a good thing while reading your story because i was able to create my own images here you know?
now that i finished these drabbles series i can focus on your multi-chapters stories ;) Little by little i'll catch up with all your work :)